I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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