I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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