I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.