Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.