make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize