Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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