96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
the raccoons are back...
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