I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
