she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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