And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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