I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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