From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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