I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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