Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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