Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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