It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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