My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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