I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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