i was born a porn star she said
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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