I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
