Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
