you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize