Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Houston, we have a squirter
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize