It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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