We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize