Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
