So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
