As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
