last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
