i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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