fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
