Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
