I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
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Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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