You can't motorboat a personality
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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