Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
