Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
