it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
