I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
