i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
