matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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