I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize