his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
