Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
