i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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