dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
