Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's just like the Real World with babies
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
