Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
