At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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