Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
