if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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