Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
