i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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