whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
