your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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