i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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