after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
