Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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