6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
