So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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